On Solid Rock I Stand

Time to let out some feelings about how I feel when someone says, “don’t go to Africa.”

I know that I am being called to the mission field because I have felt it since I was a little girl. But, sometimes the enemy likes to remind me of my hamartia, and it’s really stinkin’ frustrating. My anxiety tries to drag me down. EVERY. DANG. DAY. Those of you with anxiety know the struggle I’m talking about. It’s the struggle of not wanting to get out of bed in the morning because you are afraid you are going to mess something up or say something wrong. It’s the struggle of feeling guilty when someone compliments you. It’s the struggle of doubting the things you can do for God’s glory.

But, why did I ramble that off, you ask?

Sometimes I think to myself, “Why am I going to Africa”, or “Is God really calling me to go overseas”, and that’s because of one thing. My anxiety.

I don’t really think to myself that I can’t accomplish great things for God in Malawi because of my anxiety. Anxiety drags me down when people say I shouldn’t go, that I should just do something in the States because other people can go to foreign countries for me, or that they are “terrified” of losing me. Anxiety whispers into my ear, “You should listen to them and never leave your pineapple like when Spongebob broke his butt.” But, Anxiety has forgotten something: I have courage. Thanks to my Lord and Savior I can scream back, “You can go crawl back into your stupid dark little hole that you came from.”

Anxiety whispers into my ear, “You should listen to them and never leave your pineapple like when Spongebob broke his butt.” But, Anxiety has forgotten something: I have courage. Thanks to my Lord and Savior I can scream back, “You can go crawl back into your stupid dark little hole that you came from.”

People think they can convince me to stay home by saying they are terrified for me to spend two months in one of the safest countries for a white Christian female to be in, but they be incredibly wrong in thinkin’ that. In fact, their fear just confirms to me that God has His hand on me. Heck, if something does happen to me it’s fine because it was all in God’s hands to begin with. I am not afraid of this trip (well a little lie, ‘cause that 17 hour plane ride might be scary). If worse comes to worst, I get to meet my Maker before you.

I’m not afraid of death. I’ve been through too much to be afraid of it. If the Lord calls me home then great, and if he doesn’t, then that’s great too. Anxiety likes to try to win, but I WILL NOT LET IT WIN.  God has my back always and He only does what is best for us.

I’m not afraid of death. I’ve been through too much to be afraid of it. If the Lord calls me home then great, and if he doesn’t, then that’s great too. Anxiety likes to try to win, but I WILL NOT LET IT WIN.  God has my back always and He only does what is best for us.

So, back to the questions I said I ask myself: “Why am I going to Africa?” “Is God really calling me to go overseas?” Yes my anxiety causes me to ask myself those questions. No, I do not have negative answers to them.

Why am I going to Africa then? Because that’s where God opened my door to. Obviously He knows what He’s doing. I mean, he only created everything! But, the comfort corner dwellers (I just made up that name but I like it) might respond with, “But what if this ‘opened door’ is a trick of Satan to just get you hurt?”or some weird, insane reason. My answer is, “Do you really think Satan would allow our group to raise over $70,000 of funds and baby donations to go feed the starving children of Malawi?” No. Don’t be ignorant. But hey, anxiety makes people ask insane questions. I have an idea though, let’s all use some common sense.

“Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe.” Proverbs 29:25

Yes, God is calling me to Africa. No, you cannot convince me to stay. I stand on solid rock and you cannot move me while you ground your feet in shifting sand. So, good luck. You people sitting in your comfort corner with your Satan sprinkled, anxiety filled, safety blankets, need to pray that God gives you an opportunity to do something great for Him outside your comfort zone, because it’s worth every second of the persecution you face.

Yes, God is calling me to Africa. No, you cannot convince me to stay. I stand on solid rock and you cannot move me while you ground your feet in shifting sand. So good luck. You people sitting in your comfort corner with your Satan sprinkled, anxiety filled, safety blankets, need to pray that God gives you an opportunity to do something great for Him outside your comfort zone, because it’s worth every second of the persecution you face.

People can try to stop me all day and all night long, but God’s strength and faithfulness in me is stronger than anything in all of creation. People can very much hurt me by saying don’t go or that they are scared, but I try not to let it bother me. People cannot move me.

 

PHOTO CREDIT: https://chrismartinphotography.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/red-rock-coulee-c2a9-2012-christopher-martin-2406.jpg

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s